I guess I’m obsessed with writing now. I’ve never had this where I’m always itching to write something, where I seemed to have an unquenchable thirst to have my thoughts formed into words… not until last week. I don’t know where it is coming from. Maybe, I’m bored? Maybe, it’s my way of letting the steam out of my system? Still, this feels crazy! Everyday, I’m just sitting and writing whatever pops out of my head. Imagine, two blog posts in a day! I’ll call it insanity.
I usually write (I love this about myself!) when I’m travelling on a long haul. On the bus, plane, train or just anywhere where my mind is at peace but my thoughts are in a whirlwind. I’ve been comfortable with writing that I almost scribbled on everything. On napkins, receipts or any piece of paper I can get my hands on. I don’t bring a notebook, just a pen. I remember, when we were on a plane from Wales to Belfast and I wrote on a sickness bag. My friend LV was eyeing me up anxiously! I thought she was going to fuss about it but she didn’t. Maybe because I was so engrossed that she let me be. I know its weird but I seem to have this gnawing urge to write when I’m doing nothing .
Once I start, I can’t stop. Sometimes, it’s hard because the thoughts are clogging my brain so I have to write fast. This is my way of making peace with my chaotic thoughts. I don’t know how many write ups or scribbles I made in my entire life but most are never posted. Though, sometimes, I refuse to write my thoughts and let it flow without writing anything at all.
The good thing about it is I’ve learned something about myself. I’ve learned how impatient yet passionate I am. How I love learning stories of people and crave to capture them through my words, yet still sensitive to their feelings. How it makes me proud when I read it and I just smile as if I did something good.
Some people would write to move on. To express their emotions and forget things they do not want to remember. But, I am different. I write to hang on. To always remember that I had my best and worst moments of my life. If this is insanity or obsession, I’d like it to be forever.